Daily Supports

The types of supports that I need as an individual on a daily basis include

-          My glasses- I’m legally blind and if I didn’t have these puppies life would be harder in many ways.  My glasses allow me the ability to mow the lawn, drive a car, prepare meals, and see more than 3 inches from my face! 

-          My sticky notes- Heaven forbid if I didn’t have a sticky note to write down my lists of endless thoughts that go on in my mind.  From grocery items and appointment reminders, to things I need to do around the house and a dream I had last night.  If I didn’t have my sticky notes many of my tasks and to do’s would be forgotten.

-          My daughter- She helps me to focus on the best things about life which are- curiosity, learning new things, and keeping an imagination.  If I had never known her I would have missed out on what it was like to have someone depend on me for their survival.  I would have never felt the love I feel so strongly in my heart every time I look at her.

-          My friend Rachel- Rachel is my help line.  Lucky me she answers the phone when I call even if she is sure that there will be tears coming from the other end.  She helps calm me when storms approach and she is my instant common sense relief when I’ve lost my mind.  If I didn’t have Rachel I wouldn’t have a steady ear to talk to, to release tensions and stress. 

A specific challenge that I currently do not have would be to lose my husband.  Emotionally this would devastate me.  He is my rock and who I gain my confidence and trust in my abilities from.  I would probably pack up my daughter and I and leave my current state and move back to where I am from to be with my family.  Practically I would need to pay off all of the debt we incurred together and I would most likely sell both of our cars and our belongings to do it.  Physically, I would feel weak at first and helpless.  But, I know for the sake of my daughter I would have to overcome my emotional distress and be strong for her and I to survive and start a new life, but to always remember him. 

It's time to Play!!

My mom gave me more freedom when I was younger than when I was a teenager, believe that!  I remember always being outside playing.  She never had to tell me to go do something or to stop complaining about being bored, I just never was!  I was also an only child which I believe led to my ability to entertain myself so readily, to that I can also thank her.  A neighbor of mine was building a home next door and before the bottom half had been built there were mounds of dirt inside.  He would come by frequently to check on things but told my friends and I that we could ride our bikes on the hills if we wanted.  I’m sure glad he said that because we spent all the time we could riding around pretending to do tricks and making the mounds into shopping centers, restaurants, even houses! 

I had store bought toys but what really fascinated me and kept my attention was being outside and taking in anything I could get to grow an imagination off of.  My friends and I would gloriously make mud hamburgers and soups, we’d find sticks to throw as darts, we’d catch crayfish in the stream behind our houses, and we’d spend all day in the woods pretending to be explorers.

I’m very saddened by how play today has been downgraded to having to be entertained.  Part of the problem is the crime rate and the fear of losing a child to kidnapping, etc.  But another part of it is the gaming systems, the television, toys that require a high price tag because of the brand name they are sporting, but really don’t involve a wide array of play.  I want to and I hope I can still find my imagination somewhere to make better places in our own yard for my daughter to discover things. 

I think play in my life helped me gain confidence and a great fondness for nature.  I gained the confidence by playing with the other children and sharing ideas that they also liked and bounced off ideas from.  I gained confidence because I could jump over plants and I could make the greatest mud pie ever, so I felt good and accomplished.  I wasn’t being tested on how to perfectly hop a mound of dirt on my bike, it was just the fact that I tried and I lived up to my own expectations, not anyone else’s.  That is what made me happy and grow. 

Today I am fascinated about the things I used to do.  Now, I ride a bike pulling my daughter in a child bike trailer and I feel like I might die of heat and never make it over the next hill.  But as a child I could ride my bike for hours and not get tired!  We all lose something along the way called spirit and commitment to ourselves.  Suddenly a company requires our full attention and we must give to pay the light bill.  Too much seriousness too fast I think.   

 “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” Plato

“If animals play, this is because play is useful in the struggle for survival; because play practices and so perfects the skills needed in adult life” Susanna Miller

Relationship Reflection

Relationships to me mean that I am never alone.  I have great neighbors, friends, and an ability to provoke conversations and talk with strangers.  Relationships and partnerships provide a structure of guidance and trust.  To build a relationship is to be human and to be social.  In companies the word far more used would be partnerships, but these partnerships help companies to gain profit and to learn from product production and if in other countries, differences in economy, language, and how to do business successfully. 

I have a positive relationship with an old friend, an ex-boss, and my neighbor, just to name a few.  My old friend and I have been able to keep in touch through emailing and family outings.  We remember to check in with each other and care about what the other is going through.  She is very supportive of me and my decisions and I of her.  The thing we have learned to do best is to listen.  My ex-boss has become a welcomed ally.  I have proven my work ethic to her and she believes in my abilities.  This has strengthened my confidence in my work performance as well as creating a bond between what we both believe to be right and how we can better ourselves professionally.  Since she has trained me it also benefits her to see me perform well.  Our relationship has remained strong due to our knack of striving for more.  I see that my relationship with my ex-boss can be considered a partnership because if I plan to get back into her line of work I can use her as a reference.  I can also seek professional guidance from her and mature understanding.  My neighbors and my family were not always so friendly.  We started out being unsure of each other due to strong differences in religious beliefs.  This relationship I believe means the most because of the trying times we had but were willing to work around them.  Now my neighbors are first to be called when we need a hand, to borrow something, and just help with anything.  We have realized the kindness of friendship and the importance of having someone to trust and be considerate of you. 

A challenge that I had personally that many may have had as well is with a relative.  It feels more forced when it’s a relative that you must get along with, however, it doesn’t mean that you must like each other just that you act civil.  Ironically enough, this person that I had an issue with was my mother-in-law.  We are from different backgrounds and it was very hard for us to understand each other.  It seems that I also wanted to impress her so much that I would end up getting carried away and look like a fool.  In her eyes, I was taking away her “baby boy” and I never stopped and took the time to realize that.  If I had of been able to put myself in her shoes, I could have saved us years of ignoring and bickering.  I could have been the bigger person and stopped the charade. 

I feel this is kind of like how educators and caregivers for children feel towards parents and some families in general.  Perhaps we don’t see how hard it is and just how stressful it is for a family to drop off their little one into the big world of preschool or kindergarten.  We also don’t recognize some cultures, or races, and may be wary of how to act.  If we focus too much on how we are supposed to act or be perceived I feel that it will be assumed as an act that we are putting on.

My mother-in-law and I were able to get over our hump by being approachable.  My mother-on-law had developed a common theme about me and when she realized it wasn’t true she was able to accept me and listen to what I had to say.  Now we joke and get along great.  I only wish we hadn’t of wasted so much time. 

When I think of Child Development...

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/momentsofmotherhood/4-year-old-aelita-andre-gets-her-own-ny-art-show-sells-paintings-for-27k-2494801/
This video tells a lot about the ability to let go and let a child create.  We all know children are creative and in their own way at that.  Somewhere along the way I think adults lose that sense of freedom.  In this video the little girl is able to create paintings without someone hovering over her or telling her about staying clean.  She is given the ability to not only be a child, but to be her own person and to be congratulated on her achievements.  This video reminds me to let go and let children be children and not to control them, but guide them. 

Testing for Intelligence??

I think this question is extremely inconsistent with what any paper test can measure.  Mainly because I know adults who never graduated high school yet they can decipher computer codes or take apart and put back together whole engines.  There are some people who couldn’t find it in themselves to ever accomplish an A, yet they have more common sense in their pinky than some with a law degree.  Measuring a child’s mind and their ability has to refer solely on that child’s ability to come up with an answer.  I would severely suggest not saying that a child who cannot run up to and kick a ball has a lack in ability to kick a ball, when the same child could throw a ball like a big leaguer, or finds that math comes easily. 

So, to measure or assess a child holistically I think more of a job interview should be approached to the child.  Verbal questions as well as written.  I also wouldn’t consider time as a factor in completing answers because if our elders have taught us anything it’s that patience is a virtue and also speaking too quickly often spoils what the mind intended to say. 

One thing I read that was interesting, and that also reminded me of a report I did on dinosaurs (ironically), is that children in Brazil who sell items on the street can confidently hustle prices and arrange payments and take and give back money.  However, these same children would not be as efficient if you put them in a classroom with other students and expected the same math greatness out of them.  Here’s the interesting part- they know math, only the math they need to know to survive.  “A drawback to the general intelligence school of thought is that it is heavily dependent on psychometric evaluations. Consequently, it cannot take into account the vast array of different talents that people have” (Paik, S. 1998)  So an IQ test would put these kids way below, when in fact they are running businesses! 

For the comparison to dinosaurs, I wrote a paper on the intelligence of these long ago creatures and found out that they had been mislabeled for years!  The brain size of dinosaurs were being compared to our modern day birds and reptiles and in return were being found to be quite small, thus equally less intelligence.  Although, dinosaurs managed to stay on this planet for millions of years and thrive and evolve.  They weren’t less intelligent than our friendly fliers today; they only were as intelligent as they needed to be to get by. 

Paik, Han S. One Intelligence or Many?  Alternative Approaches to Cognitive Abilities.  Washington University, 1998. http://www.personalityresearch.org/papers/paik.html

Childhood Stressors

My friend’s dad told me about how he grew up in an area where he felt racism.  He is Chinese, Hawaiian, and Caucasian.  He said the Hawaiians would not accept him because he wasn’t full blood, nor would the Chinese, and he felt he couldn’t fit in with the Caucasians because his skin was too dark and his black.  He said that he was always confused and wasn’t sure if he should even learn traditions.  I asked him if he spoke to his parents about it but he said they weren’t much comfort and he often was alone.  To this day her dad is pretty closed up emotionally.  He usually takes the first impression as the only one, and if he so much as feels that someone doesn’t like him he does all he can to stay away from them.  He even is confused for how he feels about his grandson being interracial.  So as you can see, although the past is in the very far past, he still holds tightly to it and how it made him feel.  I cannot leave any information as a resource for this because he is highly personal and doesn’t want anyone to know he feels this way.   

Children in Iraq have high levels of post-traumatic stress disorder.  It can be expected due to the war we are currently in and the war they have been in for years upon years.  After the Gulf War “94 children in Iraq were interviewed at 6 months, 1 year, and 2 years after the war” only to find out that the same level of stress was present all three times.  At the two year interview the stress had gone just a little bit, but it was still very high.  I couldn’t imagine trying to cope with what they have seen. As far as I know nothing is being done o minimize the stress except for what little hope their parents and American soldiers bring to them.    

I was giving a driving test one time to a young man from Saudi Arabia.  When I asked him about how he felt about the way Americans perceived the Middle East, he said calmly that we overreact.  I said so you don’t have car bombs explode all the time and the streets are safe to walk down?  He said that yes they have regular bombings but that it wasn’t a big deal.  I was amazed to find that he felt these things were normal.  He told me about the first explosion he saw, but spoke of it as we would speak of going to Disney World.  He said the thing he fears most in America is our lack of knowledge.  He said we rely too much from the media to form our opinions for us.  True. 

Dyregrov, A., Gjestad, R., Raundalen, M. (2002). Children Exposed to Warfare: A Longitudinal Study. Journal of Traumatic Stress, Vol. 15, No. 1. Pgs. 59-68. Retrieved from http://www.springerlink.com/content/g27k05pu38546394/

Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding wasn’t always as important to me as it is now.  When I was pregnant everyone kept asking me if it was something that I was going to do.  I would always reply that I would if I could and move on.  A friend of mine only had one breast that would produce milk, but she was very adamant about the benefits and continued to breastfeed well after one year old.  She was a huge inspiration to me when I began and was frustrated because nightly feedings were every two hours and I was the only one who technically had to get up.  But I did it, and lasted a whole thirteen months before my baby decided she had had enough.    

The benefits that I was providing to my child by breastfeeding far outweighed the bad.  And breastfeeding is far cheaper!  It was a bond between my baby and me and provided alone time when we just wanted to be together and let the world stand still.  It was also amazing to think that I was doing something that women centuries ago had done!

I researched breastfeeding in Australia and found that in the 1970’s “40-45% of women breastfed their infants after being discharged from hospital,” however, by 1995 82% of babies were being breastfed (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2003)  My mom told me something similar that when she had her other children (in the 60’s and 70’s) that she never breastfed because it wasn’t pushed upon the mother.  She said no one mentioned it or knew the benefits of it like they do now.  This could explain the jump in percentages over the years.  

My future work hopefully will be in regards to emotional development in children and providing adequate examples for them.  I have seen multiple sites that talk about the emotional development with regards to breastfeeding and feeding this way has mental and physical positive elements to it. 

Australian Bureau of Statistics (2003). Breastfeeding in Australia, 2001. Retrieved from http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/4810.0.55.001.