The Personal Side of Oppression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like.

I was at a friend’s house who works, goes to school, and raises a young child all on her own throughout the week while her husband works away.  He came home one Saturday and instead of saying hello to her started asking why the dishes weren’t done, the car hadn’t been washed, and the house smelled.  She explained that she works all week and being that Saturday was her first day off she actually wanted to spend some time with her baby as well.  He said that his job was harder than her job and that he could still have the house cleaned and everything done.  She really felt low at that point.  She had just experienced oppression. 

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

She was not living under the same rules as he was because not only did she have to run a household alone most of the time, she worked, went to school and cared for a child.  Whereas he left home to work sometimes being gone for weeks at a time.  The oppression diminished equity by his comments leaving her to feel inadequate in performing her work at the home while he is away.  Then he told her that he would have done it better than her, minimizing her abilities and degrading her efforts. 

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

I felt compassionate for her and felt that she had just been mentally abused.  I did not want to come in the middle of them and did not want to embarrass her. 

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

In my personal opinion I feel that he would need to stop being so critical of her, and try understanding that they have two different lives.  He cannot expect her to be the same as he is when they are performing different tasks.  I also do not feel that he can make statements about his performance being better than hers if he hasn’t been in her shoes to perform the tasks.